Quarterly Reflections: 8 Things I’m Thinking About At the End of Q1

Apr 18

As we wrap up the first quarter of the year (how? HOW?!) and I officially submit my taxes, I wanted to take a moment to pause and reflect on everything that’s happened in these last three months. Historically, I’ve moved through life with a go-go-go mindset, rarely stopping to check in about what’s happening around me, and just immediately preparing for the next thing (that high-achiever life, am I right?!). Now that I’m in my 30s, and time feels like it passes a bit differently than it used to, one of my own goals — personally and professionally — has been to become more intentional, mindful, and introspective.

Something different about today’s post is that the focus goes beyond my role as a therapist. I’m sharing these reflections not as they relate to mental health, but just as a human. So…

Here are 8 things I’m thinking about at the end of 2024’s first quarter:

1. Sometimes I find it difficult to just relax.

I suppose I knew this already, but in the last few months this has become an unavoidable observation. The pendulum tends to swing between full on rotting in bed while scrolling social media, to being unable to separate myself from productivity enough to relax at all. I really thought I had gotten better at this, but because Q1 has been so busy, I’m realizing that I’m neglecting sustainable, healthy forms of leisure.

Some of the ways I enjoy winding down include reading novels, playing a cozy video game (if you haven’t played Wylde Flowers — highly recommend), browsing Pinterest for recipe inspiration, playing Scrabble with my partner, or doodling in my planner. I’m not sure why it’s so difficult to give myself space to do these things sometimes, but I think creating a list of relaxing activities and keeping it somewhere I can see will be helpful.

2. It’s so hard to keep up the momentum of new year’s resolutions.

Despite having literally co-facilitated a webinar on creating and maintaining sustainable new year’s resolutions, I’ve found myself falling off a bit from the momentum I had in January. And I think that’s a beautiful and honest depiction of why the hustle and bustle of “new year, new me” pressure is often unhelpful. Seasons change, life happens, and we all get distracted.

Fortunately, I haven’t dropped off so far that I’m feeling completely behind, but I am definitely moving at a different pace these days. I oscillate between being hard on myself about what I’m not getting done and thanking myself for taking extra time to rest, so that’s obviously still a work in progress. I’m trying to remember that I got into private practice for many reasons, one of them being greater work/life balance, and if I am constantly pressuring myself to work during all my free time it defeats the purpose. I struggle with implementing structure, but I think that’s the next step for me to get back on track with my goals in a balanced, sustainable way.

3. Being in nature is my preferred mindfulness practice.

Look, I’m a therapist. Mindfulness is inevitably going to be a thing we talk about. That being said, though, mindfulness practices can look different for everyone. I’m not someone who meditates, for example (my brain does not quiet enough for that), but I absolutely love immersing myself on a hiking trail, breathing in fresh air, and observing the nature around me. This helps me stay present and grateful, which are key components of mindfulness. Many of my clients incorporate things like yoga, stretching, journaling, or visualization as mindfulness practices and, of course, meditation works for many of them as well. I do some of those things occasionally, but I’ve found that spending time in nature is when I am at my most mindful, spiritually open, and calm.

4. “Exploration” and “balance” are two of my core values.

In doing a lot of values work with clients, it’s inspired me to reflect on my own top five core values. This is something I try to do regularly, but it’s easy to get lost in the minutia of day-to-day and forget about the big picture why in what I’m doing. While learning, connection, and achievement have been clear values from day one, I’m recognizing the others that have been a little less obvious: balance and exploration.

Since I was young, I’ve always excelled in school, worked hard, loved reading, and had an easy time making friends. I think most people in my life expected me to cultivate values centered around connection with others, learning new things, and achieving success. And so I have. But over the past few years, I’ve realized just how much I thrive on exploration. Whether that’s traveling as often as I can to new places, gallivanting across National Parks, or exploring the dining scene in my city, I’ve noticed an impact on my overall sense of happiness, fulfillment, and purpose. Exploring new places and experiencing new things is something that I am always working toward, and always end up feeling fulfilled by.

The other core value that I’m recognizing — and still working on — is balance. I never realized how all-or-nothing I can be, especially when it comes to my perception of success. I’ve tried to be the person who can do it all, otherwise I perceive it as a failure. But I’m slowly learning that in order to fully invest in certain things, I have to make space for them. And that might mean saying “no” to some things, or recognizing when it’s just not feasible to do it all.

5. I’ve been trying to find ways to embrace (and accept) my ADHD.

In early 2023, at 30 years old, I was diagnosed with ADHD, inattentive type. Like many women (who are commonly not diagnosed until adulthood), I was unaware that the symptoms I was experiencing — distractibility, oversharing, talking “too much,” rejection sensitivity, having 50 tabs open in my brain, struggling with intrinsic discipline, among others — was really ADHD. Even my anxiety makes so much more sense within an ADHD framework, and the diagnosis has brought a lot of relief. The various struggles I’ve had just make sense now, and much of the shame I’ve felt over the years has been alleviated.

That being said, there are definitely times where I get frustrated AF because even though I better understand what’s going on with my brain, I still hate that it doesn’t always function how I want it to. A major focus for me coming into 2024 was wanting to be more organized and to find systems that would help me work more efficiently. That still hasn’t happened, at least not in the way I expected or hoped for. There are certain things that are just going to be hard because of my ADHD, and I’ve got a long way to go on accepting that part of myself rather than trying to fight it or “fix” it.

6. I’m working on letting myself enjoy things — even when they’re “frivolous.”

I think there’s something to the idea that the older you get, the less f*cks you have to give, because I’m finding myself much less preoccupied with caring what others think about how I choose to spend my time, money, or energy. I’m the kind of person that enjoys silliness, playfulness, and novel experiences, and I’ve finally accepted that. (As I write this, I’m also reflecting on how “frivolous” is often a term used to describe things that are traditionally “feminine” and I’m trying really hard not to go off on a tangent about that.)

Some “frivolous” things I’ve enjoyed this quarter:

Rereading my favorite romantasy series (instead of a more “serious” book)
Fully embracing my identity as a Swiftie
Spending way too much money to go see U2 in concert in Las Vegas
Vision boarding with a group of girlfriends
Getting a massage after the most difficult hike of my life
Buying records for our record player, even though we have Spotify
Shopping for a dress that I wanted but definitely didn’t need
My coffee shop habit 😬
Getting a subscription for a monthly self-care box

So, yeah. I’m firmly in the camp of “let people enjoy things.” Even when they cost time, money, or effort, if they bring you joy, and you’re intentional about why you’re doing it, then it’s all good. We all have different priorities.

7. Existential dread feels inevitable and unending.

I feel like a day doesn’t go by where we aren’t bombarded by some deeply upsetting event happening somewhere in the world. From the hopelessness I feel about this year’s presidential election, to the horrendous genocide happening in the Middle East, to witnessing evidence of climate change (HURRICANES in California?! What?!), it’s a daily struggle not to get sucked into the despair of it all.

It’s been helpful for me to set boundaries around my social media usage, where most of this dread originates, and not force myself to engage when I don’t have the capacity for it. There’s a fine line between wanting to stay informed, and becoming consumed by the news. Everyone is going to have a different threshold when it comes to current events, so it’s important to know where yours is.

8. Community plays a huge role in my own personal fulfillment.

I’ve been fortunate to have always had a relatively easy time making friends, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed it’s definitely harder to maintain connections. We’re all busy, and sometimes paths just drift in different directions. And while I have a solid group of friends that I can rely on for happy hours, dinners, and concerts, there’s something special about being part of a group. Especially a group centered around shared interests or activities.

Some ways I’ve been enjoying community this quarter:

Singing with my a cappella group
Moderating a Facebook group for women in my city
Joining a monthly group to play Pokeno (I’ve been newly acquainted to this super fun game!)
Starting a book club with some of my friends
Looking into joining some kind of sports league (does cornhole count as a sport? 🤔)
Attending Pilates and dance classes regularly
Attending a hiking retreat with other local outdoorsy women
Attending networking mixers for therapists and other health professionals

I look forward to seeing how these communities develop in the next quarter!

SO, overall… becoming more intentional has been an ongoing theme for me over the past few months, so I’m grateful to take this moment to reflect. I often tell my clients — and am trying to embody this in my own life too — that the point isn’t just to get to a destination or end result, but rather to engage with the process along the way.

Thanks for reading, and I’ll be back in July with Q2 reflections!