8 Tips to Help You Heal After a Break-Up

I think we can all agree: breakups suck. 

Whether the relationship was a short fling, a long-term commitment, or a situationship, ending something that once held so much hope can be incredibly painful. It’s easy to feel lost, heartbroken, and overwhelmed by grief.

Healing from a breakup doesn’t happen overnight, but with time and intention, you can process the pain, rediscover yourself, and ultimately move forward. If you’re in the thick of it right now, know that your feelings are valid, and healing is a nonlinear journey — one that will lead you to a stronger, more resilient version of yourself (and more equipped for a better relationship down the line).

In the meantime, though, here are 8 tips to help you heal:

1. Allow yourself to grieve.

First things first: let yourself feel all the feelings. Grieving after a breakup is normal and necessary. It’s not just about mourning the relationship; you’re also grieving the future you thought you’d have, the routine you were used to, and even the parts of yourself that you shared with this person. Allow yourself to cry, be angry, or feel sad. It’s important to give your emotions space rather than bottling them up.

What to do: Journal about your feelings, talk to a friend or therapist, or simply give yourself permission to sit with the sadness. The goal here is to be very intentional about not rushing yourself through the painful emotions.

2. Cut off communication (at least for a while).

Let’s be real, the temptation to stay in contact with your ex is strong, especially if the relationship was meaningful or long-term. You might feel like you need closure or want to “stay friends.” But here’s the harsh truth: ongoing communication can keep you stuck in the cycle of heartbreak. It’s hard to heal when the wound keeps getting reopened by late-night texts or social media stalking. The grief process truly begins once there is space. You may even find that by the time you’re ready to re-engage with them, you may not want to anymore.

What to do: Set clear boundaries and enforce them. Whether it’s blocking them on social media or deleting their number (even temporarily), create some space so you can begin to heal without being pulled back into the emotional turmoil. Resist the temptation to “check in” on their socials; this is the perfect time to try out a form of healthy distraction. 

3. Lean on your support system.

Breakups can make you feel isolated, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Lean on your friends and family for support. Reach out to people who care about you, and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Your loved ones can provide the emotional support and perspective that can help you through the toughest moments. Remember to ask for what you need; if you need space to vent, let them know. If you need help distracting yourself, they can guide you through that too.

What to do: Call or text a friend when you’re feeling low. Plan a fun outing or even just a coffee date with someone who makes you feel grounded and supported. You don’t even have to talk about the breakup if you don’t want to! 

4. Rediscover your identity.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to merge parts of your identity with your partner’s. After a breakup, there’s an opportunity to reconnect with who you are as an individual. This is the time to rediscover hobbies, passions, and interests that might have taken a backseat during the relationship — or pursue new ones to commemorate a new chapter in your life.

What to do: Take up an old hobby or try something new that excites you. Whether it’s painting, dancing, or hiking, use this time to focus on activities that bring you joy and remind you of your own uniqueness (and how much more time you have as a single person). The goal here is not to try to perfect something, but explore different paths and see what resonates with you. Bonus points if you choose a group activity or join a community, as social connection is crucial after experiencing a breakup.

5. Focus on self-soothing and self-care.

Heartbreak can take a toll on both your emotional and physical well-being. You might feel exhausted, have trouble sleeping, or lose your appetite. Prioritizing self-soothing and self-care is crucial during this time. Self-soothing is the little things that can bring you a hit of dopamine in the moment, such as a cozy beverage, binging your favorite comfort show, or taking a dance class. Self-care is more long-term to promote sustainable well-being; things like an exercise habit, cooking a healthful meal, or making sure to take your vitamins. While it might not solve everything, taking care of your body and mind helps build a foundation for emotional recovery.

What to do: Start small. Take a walk outside, drink enough water, get enough sleep, and nourish your body with healthful foods (if your appetite is gone, try healthy snacks and gradually move up to meals). Don’t underestimate the power of a hot shower, a good book, or a yoga session to soothe your soul. The goal isn’t to eliminate sadness, but to promote your well-being despite it.

6. Challenge negative thoughts — especially rumination.

It’s easy to fall into a negative thought spiral after a breakup. Thoughts like “I’ll never find someone else,” “I’m not good enough,” or “I should have done things differently” can consume you. But remember, breakups happen for many reasons, and it’s usually not about your worth — it’s about compatibility. Regardless of the reason for the split, once reflection becomes rumination, it’s no longer helpful. You cannot control the past.

What to do: Whenever a toxic thought arises, pause and challenge it. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” Replace negative self-talk with affirmations that focus on your value, such as, “I deserve love that aligns with who I am.” For more tips on challenging negative thoughts, check out this post!

8. Visualize your future without them.

At first, it’s hard to imagine a future without the person you were with, but over time, you can start to envision a positive new chapter. Your life doesn’t end because a relationship does. In fact, it opens up new possibilities for growth, love, and self-discovery. It’s important not to rush this step, but to embrace it with curiosity when you naturally start feeling yourself move in this direction.

What to do: Start thinking about what you want your future to look like — without the ex. What kind of goals do you have? What does happiness look like for you as an individual? Are there aspects of your identity you want to rekindle? Write it down, create a vision board, or simply allow yourself to dream again.

8. Give yourself time and patience, and remember that healing is not linear.

Healing takes time, and there’s no set timeline for when you should “get over” a breakup. This is a type of grief, and grief moves in waves. It ebbs and flows. Some days, you might feel like you’re making progress, and then, out of nowhere, the pain might come rushing back. That’s normal. The key is to be patient with yourself through those ups and downs.

What to do: Be kind to yourself. Avoid putting pressure on yourself to be “okay” right away or comparing your journey to some arbitrary timeline. Instead, remind yourself that healing is a process, and it’s perfectly fine to take it one day at a time. When you’re struggling, focus on the self-soothing strategies that help you move through challenging moments. 

Healing from a breakup is tough, but it’s also a chance to reconnect with yourself, grow stronger, and rediscover your worth. It’s okay to take it slow, to feel all the emotions, and to trust that with time, things will get better.