What to Expect in Your First Therapy Session

You’ve already taken the first step on your journey to better mental health and wellness: checking out therapist websites. Maybe you’ve already taken the second step and have scheduled a consult call or made an appointment with a therapist.

But then what?

When it’s time to go to your first session, you might be experiencing a full range of emotions: anxiety, fear, embarrassment, uncertainty (at least, those are all how I felt the first time I went to therapy) … because let’s be real. Therapy can be awkward. It’s full of unknowns, and the whole point is for you to be vulnerable. With a stranger. What if you’re not ready to be vulnerable?

Fortunately, that’s totally okay! The goal in the first few sessions is not for you to open up about all of your worst insecurities, traumas, or fears. The goal is for us to create a trustworthy, positive, and safe relationship. My role in this is to be authentic and real, and to provide a judgment-free space where you can feel safe and begin to unravel the many layers that have been getting in the way of your growth and healing.

Before the first session

If you decide that I may be the right therapist for you, I invite you to contact me so we can set up a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation. Part of the reason why I offer this consult call prior to your first appointment is to give you an opportunity to hear my voice, get a feel for my style and personality, and determine whether you feel I am the right person for you to be able to open up to. If you decide at this point you want to keep looking elsewhere, that’s totally fine and I’m happy to give you some referrals for other therapists. If you decide that you want to book an appointment with me, I will email you with some paperwork to fill out prior to our first appointment. Your intake paperwork can be done online, which saves us time in session (and paper!) and allows us to focus on truly getting to know one another during the session.

The first session

Let me break it down so you know exactly what to expect when you walk into my office (or log onto our telehealth appointment). There are some logistical things that will happen at the beginning of our session, such as going over confidentiality. Even though this will be in your intake packet, I am required to discuss these topics with you in the beginning because they’re so important. We can definitely revisit this stuff as much as needed throughout our work together. I will also be able to answer any questions you have about your intake paperwork or therapy in general.

Once these logistics are out of the way, we can get to the good stuff: why you’re here, why you’re here now, and what you’re hoping to get out of this experience. You may not have concrete answers to all of these questions and that’s okay — we can work with whatever you bring into the room. Some of the questions I ask may be difficult or painful and I invite you to let me know if you are not at a place where you feel comfortable answering them. While it is helpful for me to have some details about what you’re struggling with, our work will naturally enable layers to peel back and reflections to come forth over time. This is always done at a pace that feels safe for you.

It is likely that we will spend multiple sessions getting to know each other and determine directions and goals for treatment. This is totally okay and a normal part of therapy.

What next?

In the initial session, I will not ask you whether you’d like to meet again next week. In fact, I won’t ask you whether you’d like to meet again at all. This is because I want you to feel empowered to make the choice that is best for you, without feeling pressured to schedule a follow-up session because I’m right in front of you. (You can think of this like that awkward moment at the end of a first date when you feel obligated to plan the next one, even if you didn’t feel a connection. There will be none of that discomfort on my watch.) When we end our session, I will give you time and space to reflect on whether you want to continue this work with me, and will follow up with you within one week to see how you’re feeling. If you feel I’m not the right person for you, that’s okay! I’m happy to give you referrals to other therapists who may be a better fit. However, if you feel like I am the right match for you by the end of our initial session or by the end of that first week, you are more than welcome to let me know and we can absolutely schedule your next session! You are the expert on yourself and your needs, so this choice is yours.

My hope is that every person who comes into the therapy room with me will feel empowered to express themselves authentically, experience vulnerability safely, and have choice in every step of the therapeutic process. Opening up to a stranger can be difficult, so your courage is noticed and acknowledged. Whether I am the person who walks with you on your journey, or you decide to continue looking elsewhere, I want you to feel comfortable and heard every step of the way.

Still have more questions? Feel free to contact me and we can address any other questions or concerns you have about therapy.